Just kidding, but it IS the time of year to look back, reflect, and learn. Nedra Tawwab posted a list of things to consider as a yearly wrap and I like the thought of doing some public reflection.
Here are the raw questions:
- What’s been hard for you to admit to yourself?
- What was the hardest thing you said to someone?
- What is different about you from this time last year?
- Who do you want to build a deeper relationship with?
- What internal challenge has taught you the most about yourself?
- How did you align your behavior with your values?
- What did you find most challenging to work through this year?
What’s been hard for you to admit to yourself?
One, many of the ways I show up in the world are often coping behaviors from the painful aspects of my child and young adulthood and two, I consider that showing up in those ways are the “good” and “right” ways to show up.
What was the hardest thing you said to someone?
This year, it was the things I didn’t say. My default approach has long been to explain and clarify but this year I committed to waiting, and letting events play out on their own.
What is different about you from this time last year?
I am more certain of some aspects of myself, and feel great vulnerability about others.
Who do you want to build a deeper relationship with?
My ancestors, guides, teachers, and protectors.
What internal challenge has taught you the most about yourself?
Launching a business based on my writing, which is ultimately based on a belief that what I have to offer is valuable and necessary to the world.
How did you align your behavior with your values?
I have to name and feel my values deeply before alignment can occur. Once that happens, there is a physical sensation if I act in misalignment – like pushing through a thick, sticky barrier. I’ve learned to recognize that sensation as a moment to stop and consider the situation and my choices.
What did you find most challenging to work through this year?
Understanding that I have to talk about my ideas and work, in order to get people to think about them and put them into practice. In addition, I have to believe in what I’m thinking, saying, writing, and practicing in order to set the example for other people.
(added by me) What was your greatest moment of learning?
That my desire to tend to others’ emotional comfort isn’t because I am an especially caring person but because that’s what my younger self learned. I don’t want to tend other people’s emotions, I don’t want to take care of their comfort, and even admitting that is really fucking uncomfortable.
